


Blue Destination

by larkspxrs



Category: Lovelyz, SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Sadness, lowkey gang!au, terminal illness???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2016-06-09
Packaged: 2018-07-13 23:41:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7143167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larkspxrs/pseuds/larkspxrs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She learns through teardrops on Jeonghan’s cheeks and the scars on his knuckles that there is more to everything than she had initially thought.<br/>Seo Jisoo is in love with Yoon Jeonghan.  She’s never stopped.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blue Destination

Most days she’ll sit listlessly on her chair staring out the window.  The nurses talk to her softly as to not startle her, they bring her meals in and pour water and leave it by the bedside table beside her chair.  Nobody else bothers to come anymore.

It’s like she’s been erased from people’s minds.  She’s too painful to think about anyways.

Until Seo Jisoo sees him outside the window walking in.

How many years has it been since she’s seen him?

-

Jisoo doesn’t expect him to come up to see her.

He helps her to her bed, pulls up the chair she was previously sitting on and stares past her.  She looks at him carefully.  He hasn’t changed much.

Still has the long hair, the soft lips, and the face of an angel.

After a few long minutes, he smiles at her and asks how she has been, apologizes for never coming to visit, and reaches out for her hand.

She takes a hold of it and it’s only then when she realizes he has scars now on his knuckles.  Hesitantly, she brushes her thumb over the scar tissue, he doesn’t flinch.  Jeonghan just places his other hand over her own and holds her hands tightly.

“I’ve taken up boxing nowadays.”

Jisoo only nods and it’s when she looks up from their hands she can see a tear escaping his eye.

Those weren’t the words he wanted to say.

“I’m sorry for not coming again sooner, I’m sorry for ever stopping.”  He whispers.

She places her other hand over his and smiles.

-

He comes again the next day.  He doesn’t leave until the last minute is up.

Jeonghan holds her hands again.

-

It’s been a month since he’s starting coming to the hospital to see her.  She thinks it’s strange, even her own family has stopped coming to see her.  However, he still does.

She’s thankful for that.

-

Jeonghan seems to laugh more around her now, two months after he started coming to the hospital.  He now wears leather gloves and dark jackets, there are new piercings in his ear, and he discusses with her on a rainy day, what if he were to get a lip piercing?

She just smiles and tells him “You’ll look handsome either way.”

A tear escapes his eye again and he reaches out for her.

Jisoo knows he’ll tell her when he’s ready.

-

The day he told her, she remembers he was wearing a brown leather jacket, the usual leather gloves, and his hair was cut short to just under his ears.

He asked her if she wanted to run away with him.  Jisoo does but she tells him instead to sit down first and talk with her.

Jeonghan tells her about a guy named Seungcheol, their gang, their newest recruit Chan, how vicious a Jihoon could be, and how a person named Joshua Hong saved his life by telling him to come visit her once again.

His fists clench, and Jisoo reaches out to take a hold of them, but she falls short.  Jeonghan reaches across the rest of the distance and holds her hands tightly.

“Seo Jisoo, I’ve lost everything except my brothers.  There was one other thing I want in this world though, it’s you.  But you’re going to leave me too.”  He says that with his voice trembling and Jisoo can only feel herself tear up.

-

She finally breaks one day.

Jisoo knows she’s not getting any better anytime soon, so she wants to leave the hospital and _live_ for a couple of days.  It’s a big request, but her attending doctor knows her condition well enough to make it happen somehow.

The details aren’t important to her as Jeonghan comes to her with a bag of clothes, an umbrella, and without his leather gloves.

She puts on the sweater and takes his hand as they walk out the hospital.

It’s only going to be for three days, but she doesn’t want to waste a moment.

Jisoo wonders if her parents would care.

-

That night, it was still raining hard.

Jeonghan brought her to a restaurant and lets her meet his brothers, the stars of the brief stories he tells her.  She meets Seungcheol who has a large smile, Jihoon who gives her a polite bow when he sees her, Chan with his exclamations of ‘Jeonghan, you didn’t tell us she was this pretty!’, and Joshua who saved his life.

There are others too, all of them treat her kindly and she finds it hard to believe they’re in a gang together.

Junhwi flirts with her playfully across the table, Myungho is the one who tells him to tone it down, Seokmin is the one with the radiant smile, Seungkwan is the one who sits on his left and tells jokes to her, Soonyoung is doing an octopus impersonation, Hansol is laughing at everything, Mingyu is as tall as a tree, and Wonwoo just sits by her and asks periodically if she would like something to drink.

By the end she feels exhausted but, she’s happy.  Jisoo feels blessed to meet all of Jeonghan’s brothers.  They all tell her they were glad to meet her too.

Jeonghan has an arm around her shoulders as they walk back to his car, he asks if she was fine with living with him for the three days, and she gives him a smile and a firm nod.

He takes her home, lets her change, tucks her in like a child, but hesitates to give her a goodnight kiss.  She’s the one who tells him that it’s okay, he can.

So he kisses her forehead, both of her cheeks, but it’s Jisoo who closes the distance between their lips.

“I’m sorry, Jeonghan.”  She shouldn’t have done that.

He kisses her again.

-

She’s told him before she wants to see the sunrise from the park, so he wakes her up that morning before dawn.

They make it down to the park two streets away, and Jisoo gets to see the sunrise.

He kisses her again.

She feels guilty for enjoying it.

-

Jisoo’s a romantic at heart.  So she writes a bucket list full of clichés, but Jeonghan doesn’t mind at all.

She feels the guilt settling at the pit of her stomach.

They go to Namsan Tower that afternoon and put a lock at the top of the tower.

The lock is written in Jisoo’s neat handwriting and she refused to let Jeonghan see what she wrote on it, nor write on it himself.  He teased her on the way down that she wrote she loved chicken.  Jisoo laughs at that.

What she actually wrote was this.

_Seo Jisoo will always love and protect Yoon Jeonghan_

There is no mention of Jeonghan loving her back.  No declarations of mutual love on the lock.  That’s because she believes Jeonghan should find someone else to love after her.

-

They go see the cherry blossoms the next day, she has to lean on him while walking along the streets, his jacket over her shoulders.

Jeonghan takes pictures of her smiling at the falling petals.  Jisoo takes pictures of him when he’s not paying attention.

She gets fatigued easily, so he places her in the car and reads the next thing on her bucket list as she naps.

It says stargazing, but Seoul’s too lit up to see the stars properly, so Jeonghan drives off to do the next best thing.

-

She wakes up to Jeonghan’s prodding, he’s brought her to a rooftop in the middle of Seoul so she can see all the city lights.

“It’s not the stars but, I hope it’s alright for you.”

Jisoo enjoys it all the same.  He’s put his extra jacket around her shoulders, bought two cups of coffee from the nearby variety store, and his hand is on her own.  It’s perfect.

The lights illuminate everything around her and she thinks that she could never find a moment like this again in her life.

-

The third day is spent with Mingyu, the tall tree.  Jeonghan’s been called away for an urgent matter, and he keeps kissing her over and over as he gathers his things to leave as she sits in the kitchen brewing coffee for the both of them.

He promises to come back tonight and stay up with her.  She just smiles and kisses him.

Jeonghan calls Mingyu to accompany her out on the streets.  He suggests to hit the mall and she figures it would be a good idea to do so.  Mingyu calls up his girlfriend, a bright girl by the name of Lee Mijoo, and Mingyu ends up carrying all of their bags for all the cute accessories that Mijoo buys for herself and Jisoo.

Mingyu doesn’t seem to mind too much.

Eventually they settle in the food court to eat lunch.  Jisoo is exhausted already from all of the shopping, and Mijoo suggests the two of them go watch a movie after eating as to take a break and to send Mingyu back to Jeonghan’s to drop off the things that Jisoo has bought.

Mingyu parts ways with them with all of the bags, and Mijoo buys Jisoo an extra-large bag of popcorn at the theater.

They end up like kids throwing their popcorn around at the back of people’s heads.

-

The couple drop Jisoo off at Jeonghan’s apartment at the end of the movie, tell her to call them if anything arises, and bid her a goodbye.

Jisoo ends up sorting through all of the small accessories and little stuffed animals she’s bought for her hospital room when she returned.  She sits on her bed with a glass of water beside her, there are bows in her hair and cute bracelets on her wrist.

She falls asleep like that.

-

Jeonghan returns when the sun is setting.  Jisoo wakes up at the sound of the door opening and closing.

He sees her bows and bracelets and smiles.  She can’t help but beam and take a bow out of her hair to place it in his.

It’s raining again and the last thing on her short bucket list was to have a picnic at midnight.  They make do by pushing the couch and tables to the sides in the living room, finding a blanket, making food in the kitchen, and having their picnic in the middle of the room.

The sun’s already gone when Jeonghan kisses a crumb from the side of her lips.

-

The two of them put on a movie after having an indoor picnic, the bows are still in Jisoo’s hair.  She decides it would be a wonderful idea to decorate Jeonghan’s hair with them too.

Taking out all of the bows in her hair, Jisoo places them in Jeonghan’s hair instead during the movie.  He laughs but lets her do whatever she pleases.  Soon, Jeonghan’s hair is pinned up in colorful bows and it takes all of her willpower not to burst out in glee.

She does the next best thing and takes a picture.

After though, he takes all of the bows out, except the pretty blue one.

-

They sleep together in the same bed that night, their finger interwined together. 

She’s going to miss Jeonghan terribly.

-

In the morning, Jeonghan reluctantly sends Jisoo back to the hospital.

She sleeps through the whole car ride, and she doesn’t wake up.  Jeonghan has to carry her back up to her room.

When she wakes up, he’s gone but, all of her stuffed animals are perched on the window ledge and the bedside table, and that makes her smile despite her extreme fatigue.

-

Jeonghan visits the next day, he tells her he loves her again and again and again.  He tells her everything he loves about her, and the list goes on and on and on.

Jisoo’s fingers are intertwined with his and she takes a deep breath as she pieces her words together carefully.

“I love you, Yoon Jeonghan.”  She starts off with saying, the tears are starting to form.  He looks up from their hands.

She continues, “There’s not another person that I love more than you.  Jeonghan, you’ve changed my life from the moment you entered it.  That’s why you have to promise me to be happy even after I’m gone.”  He chokes up at that.

“Don’t be upset when I die, don’t mope around.  Keep on living your life, don’t get left behind because of me.”  She’s trying so hard not to cry, she smiles.

Jeonghan’s always been reasonable, logical, and she knows that he’ll listen to her.  Jisoo knows that he’ll be alright.

Nonetheless, for the first time after she found out she was going to die, she wishes she could be alright with him.

She’s come to terms with her death already, but she wishes she could change that fact.

-

It’s raining again when she passes away.  She’s traveled to the next life, a new destination where Jeonghan cannot follow.

-

Jisoo’s family doesn’t come to the funeral, it’s Jeonghan that arranges it all.

The whole gang come to pay their respects, Mijoo comes as well.  All of Jisoo’s old high school friends come when Jeonghan calls.

At the very end though, it’s just Yoon Jeonghan and his remaining memories of Seo Jisoo.

-

The bow which he requests to be put in her hair when she is laid to rest is blue.

**Author's Note:**

> decides to found the yoon jeonghan/seo jisoo ship tag.  
> i found this in my drafts and finished it up so yeah. oops. i'm on a roll today.  
> i hope you enjoyed this. im sorry for the quality of it.


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